Random Diary Entry - 2nd April 2023

Living In The Waiting Room

Is anyone else on the waitlist?

I feel so divided. So many conflicted emotions. On one hand, when I got waitlisted, I was hopeful. I thought they saw something worthwhile in my application and in the interview, so they waitlisted me. But, at the same time, I see many other applications getting offers and them accepting them, and I don't feel like I have a chance. It becomes more oblivious and annoying when you don't know your position on the waitlist. I constantly feel, what am I waiting for? Should I just give up? Even if I get selected, what if I don't get a good scholarship or stipend after elevating from the waitlist?

Just want to get this over with. Just let me know, if you want me or not!

- Oizys.

NaPoWriMo Day 1: Latibulating

Prompt: Latibulate

Today was my college farewell, I did not go and sat on my desk to write my poem.

Today is my college farewell.
I did not go, rather sat down at my desk to write a poem.
To write a poem about goodbyes,
Rather than saying them.

So many feelings I try to articulate,
While I latibulate from the world.
I hide from the fire of closures,
To keep my frozen heart safe.

In this veil of shelter,
I rummage through box of memories.
All I find is regrets and fears,
Maybe, a smile or two of my friends,
Underneath heaps of shame and stabs.

So, I take this moment of solitude,
And, watch the crowd from afar.
I watch them twirl and dance,
While I twist my soul,
To squeeze out some ink for this poem.

My mind makes me think,
This is best way to seal the deal,
To close a box of regrets and resentments,
By regreting about not being able to say last bye.

- Oizys.