The third day of logging here. My fingers are still crossed about consistency.
Received a message here from last night; I felt seen and a bit understood by another human being. I replied to the person today.
I woke up super late because I slept this morning. I could not sleep last night because she snores A LOT.
I had breakfast at lunchtime.
I've been combing for work opportunities since I woke up. I have been receiving rejection mail since time immemorial.
All of our friends are employed in some capacity. I still haven't received a single call for even an interview.
I received a call this morning and thought it was for an interview, but it turns out they were selling courses.
I'm
thinking of logging some of my old entries from my manual diary here.
They are just a bunch of flailing and desperate poems and scribbles.
I
received another message after this log was posted. Another human being
who empathizes with the phase of having no work in life thanked the
person for the response.
I wanted to order some food, but my sister kept nagging around, and then a random uncle popped by, and then it was too late.
I ate an early dinner with my family.
They
jibed at me for having no work. I restrained myself from getting
irritated. My mental state can not afford another fight with them
anymore.
The chanting has started again. The outer tinnitus.
Editing the paper that is supposed to be submitted. Hopefully, it will go up. I have ardently researched and written my part of the paper.
I finished working on the paper and lodged all my old entries from the manual diary here.
Yes, it has been so long that I don't even remember the time before this. This sadness has become so familiar that every other emotion seems alien and uncomfortable. This sadness is so heavy, it has completely crushed me beneath its bulwark of darkness, that I have submitted my remaining pieces and am wandering in the land of hopelessness seeking the finale. It is hitting the final rock bottom after being sucked by a pit of quicksand.
Today's mood: desolate, empty, sleepy.
- Oizys.