Ricocheting In Between

It's oddly unsettling, this body. It contains an urge to be happy yet an ingrained characteristic to remain sad. I prolong my depressed thoughts while I also try to look for reasons to feel pleasure. When I do find something that could bring me pleasure, I ruin it with my need to be dead inside. It's almost as if the feeling of sadness is the one that is pleasurable to me.

Sylvia Plath was right, "I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between."

I have lost it while bouncing between the two. I have stopped feeling either. I desire nothing anymore. I have absolutely nothing to look forward to. I have lost the shine. I have lost the thunder. Just a worn out ball lying in a corner.

- Oizys.